20+ photos taken around San Francisco layered on top of each other with different opacities.
Layering Project 12/17/2008
20+ photos taken around San Francisco layered on top of each other with different opacities.
Google Phone 12/17/2008
Ads for the new google phone. These were nominated for an awards competition.
These three weren't:
Asian Kung Fu Generation Posters 12/17/2008
Promotional posters for the band Asian Kung Fu Generation for a fictional album, Haruka Kanata, named after my favorite song from them. The first is for the release of the album, and the second is for a performance at the SF Exploratorium.
W hotels 12/17/2008
Our assignment was to update the W hotels brand. They like to use the letter "W" a lot so we did a funky twist on it.
New Playing Cards 12/17/2008
These were inspired by the game, zookeeper (play it here: http://www.2flashgames.com/f/f-231.htm ). I used to be obsessed with it back in the day.
Nikon Coolpix 11/21/2008
Check out our commercial on currentTV
If you like it, register and vote for us. Do it now! Voting is what all the cool kids are doing now anyway, right?
The Return of the Weekly Brain Vomit 11/12/2008
"When you leave for work, dogs think that you're never coming back. That's why they often change the locks while you're away."
Weekly Brain Vomit 9/24/2008
Teacher asked the class what we wanted to be when we grew up. Jimmy said, "I want to be a dinosaur!" The teacher scolded Jimmy and said that he couldn't grow up to be a dinosaur. I ran away from school forever, just in case.
Weekly Brain Vomit 9/15/2008
"The best offense is a good defense. The best defense is a swarm of angry bees that think you are their queen."
Chrome Boner: Rise of the Machines 9/08/2008
I've been using Chrome A.K.A. Google's first major step toward becoming self aware and starting a war between robots and humans that ends in a time paradox where Arnold Schwarzanager is sent to the past to stop the war, only to have his computer brain reverse engineered to start the whole damn thing!Ok I just lost my train of thought. Don't worry, we won't have to deal with a Google Skynet scenario until August 4, 1997 at 2:00am
...wait a minute...
So yeah, Chrome. It seems a bit faster with a sleek design and some neat features (most notably an "icognito mode" for when your privacy may be compromised...or you are looking at porn).
I'm no computer scientician, but I have a few issues with Chrome that I think need to be worked out. Lets start with the most obvious thing, the logo (pictured above). Maybe they need to, I don't know, add the color chrome to it? And what is with the color scheme? I'm not an artist either but it looks like they just used the primary colors, but somehow green got invited to this party. What happened to Orange and Purple? Well, I guess Orange had to work late, and nobody likes to hang out with Purple because he's an obnoxious drunk.
Pictured: A Scientist.
Besides my stupid qualm with the logo (which suspiciously fits perfectly into a terminator eye-- I'm just sayin...), there are some functional problems with Chrome that I've noticed. Now if you're a computer whiz these might not be problems for you but for the rest of us god-fearing machine-fighting resistance everymen, these are a couple issues that Chrome has right out of the box.
For one, I can't seem to save pictures from websites. In fact, I had to grab that crazy Robo-Einstein picture on Internet Explorer, save it to my computer, and then post it using Chrome. Maybe that doesn't bother you as much as it bothers me but when your main form of entertainment is ripping pictures off the internet and turning them into facebook bumper stickers, you gotta have that working 100 percent!
Facebook. That brings me to my next point. When you're browsing through pictures, the whole things seems to lock up around the fifth or sixth picture. It gets "sticky" and just bounces back to that same picture no matter how fast or desperately you press the "next" button. Now, at the moment there are only two solutions to this:
A) Switch back to Internet Explorer or Firefox
B) Stop facebook stalking so vigorously
Will both of these options work? Sure. But are they acceptable? I submit that they are not. Get to work, Google. But don't work too hard...
Weekly Brain Vomit 9/02/2008
Take off those serifs and get comfortable, baby. Awww yeah... 8/28/2008
I don't know if there are any font junkees out there (or
wannabe font junkees like me, or anyone for that matter) but if you are, this movie is probably right up your alley.
Yes, it's a movie about the font, Helvetica. Yes, they made a movie about a font. And yes, it is better than your idea for a Ghostbusters/Jurassic Park mashup sequel (actually...).
As far as fonts go, Helvetica is pretty popular. Even if you haven't heard of it, you have definitley seen it. All kinds of brands from American Apparel to Microsoft make use of it. It's not just brands that have fallen in love. Everyday people go nuts for this typeface. The Museum of Modern Art in New York recently had an exhibit completely dedicated to the 50th anniversary of the font. ("here's a $10 donation. Now please direct me to the edgy-typeface-sexdungeon exhibit.")
This movie is the font enthusiast equivalent of "Jesus Christ Super Star."
There. I just used the words Junkee, Ghostbusters,Jesus Christ Super Star, and sexdungeon, all in the same post. Ha! I make myself laugh sometimes. This should probably bring in a couple of new readers to the blog just based on very very wrong google searches. Oh hamburgers...
Weekly Brain Vomit 8/19/2008
"I think a cool job to have is pollen counter. I'd sit outside every morning counting pollen and my friends would walk past and wish me good luck. Then I'd get mad because I lost count. Then I'd quit and become an astronaut. I'm allergic to pollen anyway."
One is called Sam 8/18/2008
The Bank Loan
As Series 17 Autotronica Model 10-XR7-- or S17AM10-XR7 to his friends, or Sam, to his stupid friends-- walked into the bank, he tried to keep calm. Like most Series 17s, Sam had problems with his audio-dampening plate (a device used to suppress the terrible sounds used by the mainframe to communicate with the rest of the unit via dial-up). Whenever Sam started to get nervous, as he was now in the bank, his ADP would rattle loose and annoy everybody within earshot. Sam searched through his memory banks and remembered the time it happened at church.
He had been invited by a close friend and arrived 1,226 seconds late. After scanning the room for his friend, he attempted to move his 3,000lb body through a row of church goers. He slid through the aisle as quietly and slowly as possible so as not to disturb the rest of the service. This proved to be worse than going through noisy and fast as he was blocking entire rows of people with his boxy frame. Sam looked around the room and the nervousness glitch started. His ADP came loose and the terrible screams of his internal communications systems rang through the church, whose acoustics made the tension and sound worse. Children began crying. Many covered their ears. One man suffered from a nose bleed-- although it was never confirmed if Sam caused it. The crowd got caught up in a frenzy:
"Turn that thing off!"
"What is that horrible sound?"
"It sounds like a fax machine with an ill-tempered cat lodged in it!"
"Somebody make it stop!"
"It sounds like a dentist drill being used on a chalkboard!"
"It's hurting my ears!"
"It sounds like techno music!"
Sam shook it off. He entered the bank with a sense of purpose--determined to appear
professional and secure a bank loan today. He confidently walked toward the loan officer's desk-- at the same time being careful not to smash his titanium alloy feet through the wooden floors of the bank. He drew some awkward stares from people in the bank. Sam wondered if they were staring at his green optical units-- people always said they looked like cheap Christmas lights. Or maybe they were staring at his arms and legs. To the untrained eye, they might look like chromium or some kind of precious space metal, but they were actually just a mess of wires and steel wrapped in space blankets and electrical tape. A child pointed at Sam's hands and whispered something to his mother. Of course.
Sam's gigantic claw vending machine hands were often the subject of much concern to people. Sam had decided earlier that day to leave his more human-like hand attachments (pink dishwasher gloves) at home because they made him look stupid. Many Series 17 models were recalled due to a ghost programming bug in the hands that made them destroy vending machines and claim the prizes inside for itself. Sam hadn't experienced this bug, but he still felt a little weird walking into a Chuck E. Cheese.
"Have a seat Sam," said the well dressed loan officer. Sam hated people who wore suits-- mostly because he could never fit into one. The loan officer straightened out his "I'm a prick" suit and spoke up: "How are you doing today Sam?" Sam's eyes start to blink green as the annoying sound of a 1970's dot matrix printer fills the room (you know, the ones that take forever and spew out the paper with the perforated edges connected to those little strips of hole-punched paper) and a receipt sized piece of parchment slowly spews out of his mouth. The loan officer, visibly annoyed by the sound, just stood there, unsure of what to do. Sam motioned with his freak claw hand for the loan officer to read the note. The loan officer reached over his desk, tore the paper from Sam's mouth, and read the sheet:
I AM FINE. HOW ARE YOU?
"I'm fine Sam. You're going to have to fill out this paper work. It shouldn't take longer than 15 minutes." Sam scanned the stack of papers. 29 pages, 126 values to fill in, one stain of unknown origin. "I'm going to grab more coffee; let me know when you've finished." Correction. Origin: generic brand coffee with 0.46 grams of sugar. Sam grabbed the stack of paper and fed it into his chest. His green light bulb eyes flared up and the completed forms began to quietly print--The process of printing letter-sized forms is less noisy: it uses a separate, thermal printer instead of the poor-excuse-for-a-vocal-unit dot-matrix printer Series 17s use for speech. The only drawback to the thermal printing was the embarrassing fashion in which the parchment was dispensed.
"Is he...pooping?" A curious boy asked. His mother reprimanded him:
"It's rude to stare!"
Sam had heard from a friend that there was an upgrade available to replace the dot-matrix vocal unit with a similar thermal printer, but the idea both frightened and disgusted him. The loan officer came back. He was surprised to see that Sam had nearly finished "filling out" the forms. He was also surprised that a robot was bent over in front of his desk shooting paper out of his rear. The loan officer glanced at his watch and looked around the room, trying not to draw attention to an already awkward situation. Sam handed the forms to the loan officer and returned to his seat.
"Well everything looks in order here, looks like you will soon be the proud owner of a pizzeria. All that's left is a quick background check."
Sam had dreamt of this moment before. One night, it appeared he had been talking in his sleep as one morning he re-activated to find that he was covered in perforated paper with many exclamation points and the word "PIZZA" jumbled in the middle of thousands of abstract mathematic equations printed on them. It is widely believed that robot's cannot dream. However, an engineer at Autotronica Inc. once postulated that long term tasks that are left incomplete may possibly have some lines of code leaked into the system's off-line maintenance routine. Sam didn't know if he bought into this theory. All he knew was that the last time he had a dream he received a warning from his landlord, citing complaints of strange, awful, unholy noises coming from his apartment.
Something inside of Sam began to rumble. Robot indigestion. He knew he should not have analyzed so many different pizza recipes. He just ran out of time and decided to store the samples in his stomach unit for later analysis. The 15 pizza pies that Sam had shoveled into his mouth had taken up too much room in his and his system was forcing it out, one way or another. Sam realized he had to find a lavatory immediately. The loan officer raised an eyebrow, confused at Sam's stillness. Sam quickly scanned the room and spotted a facility in the southwest corner of the building. He started to plan his path when suddenly--
"EEEEEERRRRRRRRNNGGGGGGGGGAHENNGGGG ENGNNNNNGGGGGGG"
It was the damned ADP acting up again. The sounds of modified performance dial up with no regard for human life echoed throughout the bank, which unfortunately, shared the church's ability to carry acoustics quite easily. Sam put his hands to his head, trying to tighten the ADP. The bank patrons did the same, trying to save their eardrums. Women and children panicked.
"Mom, what's that noise?"
"Cover your ears!"
"It sounds like someone vomiting into a microphone with feedback!"
"This is the worst Earth Day ever!"
Security guards drew their weapons, searching the premises for the mystery noise. A man who Sam remembered from the church suffered a nose bleed. He swore at Sam:
"This is definitely YOUR fault, robot!"
The loan officer grabbed Sam by the head.
"What are doing? Stop this, now! This is completely unprofessional.."
Sam struggled with the loan officer until they both fell to the ground. The loan officer grabbed a heavy telephone from off of his desk and started pounding it against Sam's head. The sounds of a dot-matrix printer added it's part to the symphony of terrible noise. The security guards looked on as the loan officer continued to bash at Sam's head with the phone while small strips of paper with the words "STOP. OUCH. PLEASE STOP DOING THAT" printed from Sam's mouth. Sam's vision began to blur. Massive head trauma from telephone wielding loan officers is widely believed to suck for robots. Sam thought he saw his friend Isaac out of the peripherals of his optics before his system went into emergency stand by.
Hours later, Sam woke up with a deformed head covered in pizza. As the sounds of a dot matrix printer filled the room, Sam realized he was in a jail cell. He looked over and saw his friend Isaac, who looked very displeased. Isaac walked over to Sam and tore the new message from his mouth. He read it, sighed, and narrowed his eyes at Sam, and shook his head in disapproval. Isaac reached behind Sam's head to a hidden keypad and punched in a combination that forced Sam into sleep mode. Isaac discarded the message from Sam and dropped it on the floor as he went back to the bed on the other side of the cell. He looked across the small jail cell at Sam, and then at the piece of paper he left on the ground. On it were the words:
DID I GET THE LOAN?
Weekly Brain Vomit 8/11/2008
"When I was younger, two guys asked me to climb in their van and help find their dog. We never found that dog."
New Look. Sorta. 8/10/2008
Through the magic of MS Paint, I give you the new banner for the blog. It's so hard to transfer simple design ideas from your brain to MS Paint but it is very rewarding to see a finished product that is atleast half of what you envisioned.
The images are (from left to right)
Bynum the Barefoot Bear: a wino-spokesbear for our E&J Gallo Wineries project in our Ad Agency Operations and Campaigns class.
Self Portrait: using the very delicious and seldom appreciated medium of pizza dough, pepperoni, mozarella cheese, tomato paste, olives, and love; I created a pasta-modern, Italli-moticon expression of myself.
Captain Robotobot: Um, it's me in a robot costume. From the filming of "Captain Robotobot and the 21st Century." Winner of the 2005 UW 24 hour film festival Judges Award.
I feel like I can eventually make the image look a lot sleeker and neat and it would probably take a lot less time with some better programs, but what you see is what you get. We're operating on a "get your hustle on" design budget until further notice. - Management
The images are (from left to right)
Bynum the Barefoot Bear: a wino-spokesbear for our E&J Gallo Wineries project in our Ad Agency Operations and Campaigns class.
Self Portrait: using the very delicious and seldom appreciated medium of pizza dough, pepperoni, mozarella cheese, tomato paste, olives, and love; I created a pasta-modern, Italli-moticon expression of myself.
Captain Robotobot: Um, it's me in a robot costume. From the filming of "Captain Robotobot and the 21st Century." Winner of the 2005 UW 24 hour film festival Judges Award.
I feel like I can eventually make the image look a lot sleeker and neat and it would probably take a lot less time with some better programs, but what you see is what you get. We're operating on a "get your hustle on" design budget until further notice. - Management
Bus Wraps, Hand Bags, and Coffee Cups, (oh my?) 8/09/2008
Stumbled upon this piece on outdoor advertising from 5min(dot)com. Prett neat stuff. I especially like the handbag executions, whose main purpose appears to be: "freak you out and draw attention to random body parts." Very neat.
The semi daily brain vomit 8/05/2008
Sometimes I look at that yellow ball of gas in the sky and ask myself, "I wonder if my long lost sister is looking at the same sun." I had more questions, but my eyes were starting to tear up because of the poetry of the moment—but mostly because of the burning sensation behind my retinas.
I have aim 8/03/2008
A 30 second spot I wrote and directed for the National Student Advertising Competition last April. My friend Andy did the background animation. Submitted as a sample piece as part of my application packet for portfolio school.
Shiny and New 8/03/2008
Ok so this is probably the sixth time that I've had some kind of re-invention of the site. I'm not completely satisfied with it so it will probably go through some changes in the next few weeks. I'm moving to a new city in the next month so hopefully it will give me more to write about.
I know what you're thinking. The answer is "yes, I'm living in the Full House house."
I know what you're thinking. The answer is "yes, I'm living in the Full House house."
