Weekly Brain Vomit




Teacher asked the class what we wanted to be when we grew up.  Jimmy said, "I want to be a dinosaur!"  The teacher scolded Jimmy and said that he couldn't grow up to be a dinosaur.  I ran away from school forever, just in case.

Yearbook

Gino, 1956




Gino, 1976



Gino, 1982




Weekly Brain Vomit


"The best offense is a good defense.  The best defense is a swarm of angry bees that think you are their queen."

Chrome Boner: Rise of the Machines


I've been using Chrome A.K.A. Google's first major step toward becoming self aware and starting a war between robots and humans that ends in a time paradox where Arnold Schwarzanager is sent to the past to stop the war, only to have his computer brain reverse engineered to start the whole damn thing!

Ok I just lost my train of thought.  Don't worry, we won't have to deal with a Google Skynet scenario until August 4, 1997 at 2:00am
...wait a minute...

So yeah, Chrome.  It seems a bit faster with a sleek design and some neat features (most notably an "icognito mode" for when your privacy may be compromised...or you are looking at porn).

I'm no computer scientician, but I have a few issues with Chrome that I think need to be worked out.  Lets start with the most obvious thing, the logo (pictured above).  Maybe they need to, I don't know, add the color chrome to it?  And what is with the color scheme?  I'm not an artist either but it looks like they just used the primary colors, but somehow green got invited to this party.  What happened to Orange and Purple?  Well, I guess Orange had to work late, and nobody likes to hang out with Purple because he's an obnoxious drunk.

Pictured:  A Scientist.

Besides my stupid qualm with the logo (which suspiciously fits perfectly into a terminator eye-- I'm just sayin...), there are some functional problems with Chrome that I've noticed.  Now if you're a computer whiz these might not be problems for you but for the rest of us god-fearing machine-fighting resistance everymen, these  are a couple issues that Chrome has right out of the box.

For one, I can't seem to save pictures from websites.  In fact, I had to grab that crazy Robo-Einstein picture on Internet Explorer, save it to my computer, and then post it using Chrome.  Maybe that doesn't bother you as much as it bothers me but when your main form of entertainment is ripping pictures off the internet and turning them into facebook bumper stickers, you gotta have that working 100 percent!

Facebook.  That brings me to my next point.  When you're browsing through pictures, the whole things seems to lock up around the fifth or sixth picture.  It gets "sticky" and just bounces back to that same picture no matter how fast or desperately you press the "next" button.  Now, at the moment there are only two solutions to this:
A) Switch back to Internet Explorer or Firefox
B) Stop facebook stalking so vigorously

Will both of these options work?  Sure.  But are they acceptable?  I submit that they are not.  Get to work,  Google.  But don't work too hard...





Weekly Brain Vomit


"After the autopsy the doctors found a 65 Watt light bulb in Mr. Johnson's head. It was a prank that one of the surgeons pulled, but Mr. Johnson really did have some good ideas. He probably would've laughed if he wasn't dead."